News Nuggets

A new study shows that one-fourth of U.S. workers use their employers' Internet to look for other jobs. A similar study shows that one-fourth of U.S. workers are fired for being stupid.

Three hostages were freed in Iraq. They spent four months under the grip of ruthless religious fanatics bent on destruction. Unfortunately, some of Pat Robertson's church members escaped the compound.

Microsoft announced that its new version of the Windows operating system will be delayed. Looks like we'll have to wait a little longer for our computers to crash.

NASA has halted spacewalks on the space station due to defects in the handrails. They plan to make spacewalks safer by reinforcing the handrails, and gluing little rubber flowers to the outside of the space station.

The CDC reported an increase in resistant strains of tuberculosis around the world. And in a related story, on his recent world tour, Ozzie Osborn has been coughing a lot.

A new book, Game of Shadows, accuses Barry Bonds of taking steroids to boost his home-run totals. Bonds held a news conference to dispute the charges, but couldn't fit his head through the door.

Japan won the first-ever international World Baseball Classic. Cuba came in second place, but only because their players kept jumping over the walls to defect.

See you next Tuesday.