McDonald's Actually Explained How They Lie in Advertising

For years, people have pointed that food in advertising looks much, much different than food we actually buy and eat. For example, when you see a quarter pounder in ads, it looks plump and delicious like this:

Yum.

But when you actually buy one, it looks like this:

As you can imagine, not everyone is comfortable with this. It's almost false advertising to get this sloppy and limp thing instead of the full and trimmed burger in the ads. But McDonald's doesn't seem to see it that way. In fact, McDonald's Canada actually made a video showing how a photo shoot of a quarter pounder is done, how it takes hours to achieve that notable and delicious look with a team of "food stylists" and even a little Photoshop. In other words, McDonald's just showed us exactly how they lie to consumers. Betcha didn't see that one coming.

It's actually a pretty interesting video, though.

What do you think? Is it false advertising or just putting the product in the best light?

Heart Attack: Jarvik's Lipitor Ads

I don't take Lipitor, but I admit to being impressed by the ads featuring Dr. Robert Jarvik. After all, I thought, if the man who created the artificial heart endorses Lipitor, who am I to argue? Then I read this New York Times article that raised some serious questions. First of all, he's not a cardiologist, which surprised me since he built a heart. Second of all, he used a stunt double in one of the ads where he appeared to be rowing. Even the replacement ads show him jogging. Clearly they were trying to send a message that Lipitor will keep you healthy enough to be an outdoorsman. If they're that dishonest about the advertising, what's that say about the medication itself?

Adwatch: Sobe Lizards Thriller Dance

I'm sick and tired of the dance from Thriller. It was fun when 13 Going On 30 did it, but when it got to a bunch of prisoners doing it in their yard, I knew the fad was out of hand. And then came this commercial.

The biggest problem I have with it is that it's a bunch of computer-generated lizards doing the dance from Thriller. Nothing more, nothing less. It has nothing to do with the drink, it's not really funny (except when one eats a cricket), and there's no real reason for doing it, other than the anniversary of the video (which Sobe had nothing to do with) and to capitalize on the popularity of the dance in viral video. Naomi Campbell's presence in the commercial makes even less sense. It's been years since anyone mentioned Campbell in any context, let alone a flattering one, so why they decided to intercut her into the video doing vague dance moves is beyond me. They should've had her throwing her cell phone at the lizards, killing them, and turning them into luggage.

Inexplicably, I discovered while researching this post that people actually loved the commercial, so much that there's a billboard featuring the Sobe Lizards in Times Square. No accounting for taste. But at least I'm not alone, thanks to Brandweek.

Adwatch: Quizno's Monsters

Finally, the answer to the question I needed to know - why? What would possess an otherwise good company to unleash these repulsive monsters on the world and tie it to their product? Much like the origin of the Burger King's Subservient Chicken, the spongmonkeys are the product of the Internet. But here's where Quizno's failed - the original clip is funny because it's so weird. The spongmonkeys are singing about the Moon, but I don't think anyone who saw this ad would increase their support for the space program. It's funny to watch, but that's it. The creatures are repulsive, and that revulsion will be transferred to the product. I personally can't stomach the idea of eating a Quizno's sub. For more on this subject, see Bad Andy. A reviewer at Slate argued that the commercial is brilliant because a) it gets people talking about Quizno's and b) it gets all the information they want to convey. He is wrong. First of all, I wasn't listening to the song because I was too busy staring at that hideous creature. There is a choice - the people who download that video want to see something like that, but the vast majority of people won't think it's funny. I can't see a farmer in Oklahoma who loves Mom and apple pie enjoying the spongmonkeys. And even those people who do like the video probably wouldn't be forced to watch two or three times a day as advertisements do. As for the first argument, that falls under the category of "no such thing as bad publicity," which I think Courtney Love has disproven. If I say "I hate Quizno's," I don't think that's the kind of endorsement they want, even if I did mention their names.

Adwatch: Nike' Likes Big Butts

Nike has created a new ad campaign which praises big butts and thighs. It's supposed to show that there are a wide variety of body types, not just the lean stereotypes in commercials. You can view the ad at Adrants. To me, this ad is quite clearly aimed at black women. I've never heard a white woman say these things, but have heard plenty of black women say them. Oddly enough, even this commercial is controversial on both sides. Some people say it's offensive to portray an unhealthy lifestyle as positive, but others say it doesn't go far enough because it portrays an athletic big butt, not a regular big butt. Boy, those big-butted women are never satisfied.

UPDATE: I've added the actual ad to this blog post, in case Adrants takes it down.

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AdWatch: Listerine

So I'm watching TV the other night, and saw a commercial for Listerine. It shows a woman coming home to her family from the grocery store. She describing all the stuff she bought and says "Oh, and I got some Listerine." Then we hear scuffling and she looks around to see her family has disappeared. She calls out "Relax, it's less intense." The family members crawl out of cupboards and from behind furniture, relieved. It turns out to be an ad for the new citrus-flavored Listerine.

Now stop and think about this. This could easily be used as an effective commercial for a competitor to Listerine, pointing out that Listerine burns your mouth. But it's not. It's a commercial for Listerine. Granted, a different brand of Listerine, but it's still Listerine. This is a familiar theme, going back to their commercial showing a guy rinsing with Listerine, making grimaces as a voice basically tells him he's a wimp if he can't handle the pain for 30 seconds. The slogan is "You can handle it, germs can't."

First of all, why do they sell a product that they know people don't like? Listerine is painful to use. If they know and are addressing the problem in their commercials, shouldn't they be working on ways to stop it? Instead, they make fun of the problem in the commercials, then say "Go ahead and use it, anyway." What's more, they have developed a less painful Listerine (I'm assuming, I haven't tried it), and they're selling it by bashing the old product.

Right now, I should say something enlightening as to what it all means, but I don't have a clue. I just know it means something.
Categories: opinion