Monday, April 30, 2007

Breaking News From The New Yuk Times

Breaking news from the New Yuk Times: Man Freezes To Death Chewing Mint Gum

Kryptonite: Sodium Lithium Boron Silicate Hydroxide

It looks like Lex Luthor has the last laugh. A group of Serbian scientists discovered a mineral with a composition of sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide. They searched to see if the mineral they found was already discovered. When they entered its components into Google, they were shocked to discover the name already existed. That's what's written on the case in the museum that Lex gets his kryptonite from in Superman Returns. So they named the mineral kryptonite. Yes, there is now a real mineral called kryptonite. Unfortunately, it's white and powdery, not green and crystalline. But it's still cool. Now they just need to find mitichlorians.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Not Paris Hilton's Secret Diary

The five of you that read it may have noticed that not Paris Hilton's secret diary hasn't been updated in a very long time. There's a reason for that, and it's not that I got bored and forgot about it. The fact is that I no longer find Paris Hilton funny. I also realized that anyone talking about her makes her happy, so the best thing we all can do is ignore her, and she'll go away. Still think the old entries are funny, though.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Lost in Order

When Lost was on re-runs, I caught up on the episodes I missed from the first season, which turned out to be about two-thirds of the season. I thought it might be confusing watching first season episodes when we're already deep into the third season, but it wasn't. Quite the opposite. The show's always been kind of non-linear with the flashbacks on the lives of the characters, which have never been shown in chronological order, and characters making references to things that we don't know or understand until later on. In fact, the third season has become richer for me, knowing all the things that went on before, and I think knowing later episodes enhanced my understand of the first season as well. For example, in the first season, we didn't know anything about the Others, which meant that when Ethan was running around, we had no idea who he was or where he came from. Now I do, so I understand what Ethan's goal was and why he was there while he was stalking the survivors. I think that's a sign of a truly unique and well-written show, that the earlier episodes are just as strong as the third season episodes, if not stronger.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Flashback Friday: Platypus Man

In tribute to the late Richard Jeni, beloved comedian who unfortunately never made it as big as he should have and commited suicide, we shall honor one of his greatest failures, his short-lived TV series Platypus Man. I don't remember a single thing about this show, other than the fact that it wasn't that funny and the sight of Richard Jeni in an apron cooking just didn't fit.

* The opening explained that a platypus is a mammal that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone, and a platypus man is a mammal that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone.
* His TV show on the series was called Cooking with the Platypus Man.
* The series aired in 1995, the early days of UPN, which sucked.
* The problem of cooking and his character's problems with relationships were supposed to parallel. They didn't.
* Ron Orbach played Richard's executive producer and longtime friend. He's the cousin of actor Jerry Orbach of Law and Order fame.

* Unofficial UPN homepage's profile of Platypus Man
*'s profile of Platypus Man
* Wikipedia's entry on Platypus Man

Flashback Friday: Out of This World
Flashback Friday: Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Flashback Friday: Herb

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Mystery of "High School Musical"

I remember the day I realized I was out of touch with the youth of today and officially gave up. It was when I saw a slap bracelet in the store and asked myself "What's a slap bracelet?" I didn't understand it then and still don't, but realized the average kid could probably break it down for me. From then on, I just stopped trying. So when I heard about this thing called High School Musical, I thought "whatever." Then I heard about the hit soundtrack. And saw the High School Musical posters. And the breaking point was when the soundtrack was nominated for "Album of the Year" at the Billboard Music Awards. I couldn't take it anymore. So I booted up Google to answer the eternal question: "what the heck is 'High School Musical?'" The answer is that it's a TV movie on the Disney Channel. Since I don't have cable, that explains my lack of contact with it. But all this fuss over a TV movie? That must be some TV movie.