Saturday, September 30, 2006

Flashback Friday: Square Pegs

Before Sarah Jessica Parker had sex in the city, there was Square Pegs. This was a short-lived series about a couple of nerds in high school, but I remember it capturing a sense of teen angst that I'd never seen before. It also introduced me to a lot of '80's concepts that I didn't get going to my school (I wasn't even in high school then), like New Wave music, valley girls, the term "nerds," and leg-warmers. I also have had the theme song stuck in my head for twenty years. This show is also notable as one of SJP's first acting gigs. Who knew it would lead to fame and fortune? I still think she's ugly, but whatever. Maybe that's why I find her so unattractive, because I always see her with those glasses and nerdy look. Nice body, though.

Fun Facts:
* The title of the show was a reference to the characters trying to fit in, but not being able to - square pegs trying to fit into round holes.
* The theme song was performed by a group called The Waitresses, who apparently never did anything else ever again. Paul Shaffer did additional music. Figure that one out.
* The high school they went to was Weemawee High School. They didn't even try to make it realistic.
* Bill Murray did a guest shot as a substitute teacher.
* The show only lasted for one season from 1982 to 1983.
* The cancellation of the show was blamed, in part, on drug use on the set. If that was the case today, we'd never keep shows on the air.
* In China, they adapted the show into a hit series called Life Made Simple about a mentally-retarded man in his mid-thirties who goes to high school. I don't know how that worked. Do they have valley girls in China?
* There are calls for this show to be released on DVD. Something tells me it's going to be a little dated.

Links: There's a good overview at By far, the best Square Pegs website I could find was the Square Pegs Shrine. And of course, there's the old standard, IMDB. Wikipedia, of course, does it up right. There are some sound files at Tim's TV showcase, including the theme song.

Flashback Friday: Photon
Flashback: Madballs
Flashback Friday: Electric Dreams

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Free Movie Idea: Gremlins 3

If I were in Hollywood, I would greenlight Gremlins 3. I'd call it Gremlins 3: World War. Here's the pitch. It's a prequel. The first Gremlins made a reference to gremlins by that World War II guy that he had seen gremlins inWorld War II. That's where the movie should be set. It's about him as a young man on a battleship off the coast of Japan. A geisha, working for the Japanese military, gives one of the American soldiers a cute little mogwai, tells him it's a pet, but doesn't tell him the rules. The mogwai gets wet, produces a bunch of copies, they eat and whammo. Suddenly, the soldiers are trapped on a battleship with the gremlins while they're at sea. The gremlins are planning to take over the battleship and scuttle it. The soldiers band together and launch an all-out war with machine guns and grenades, fighting the gremlins, but the gremlins have already sabotaged the weapons. The gremlins are screwing up the planes so they crash, sabotaging the missiles to make them explode. They have to hold out until morning, when the sun will destroy the gremlins. Not sure how it would end, but I think it would be cool.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Top Ten Reasons We All Hate The New Cardinals Stadium Name

The Arizona Cardinals finally sold the naming rights to their stadium. And the new name is...University of Phoenix Stadium. Now there are a lot of reasons why people hate this name, besides the fact that everybody hates company-sponsored stadium names. Here are the top ten I've heard.

10. Nobody cares about the University of Phoenix.
9. Everybody hates the name except the Arizona Cardinals.
8. There's no good mascot for the University of Phoenix. No bobcat for that stadium.
7. University of Phoenix Stadium has eleven syllables. Bank One Ballpark had four.
6. There is no name recognition. Everyone is going to shorten it to "UOP Stadium," which defeats the purpose of name recognition.
5. Does anyone want to call it "U.P. Stadium?"
4. The University of Phoenix has no athletic program, so it has nothing to do with sports.
3. They did it for the money, which is going into Bidwell's pocket, not the team.
2. They slapped "Phoenix" on the side of a building designed to promote and celebrate Glendale.
1. They spent fifteen years complaining about playing in a university stadium, then when they got a new stadium, named it after a university.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Never Prosper: Cheaters

I watched a whole episode of Cheaters this morning for the first time.Usually only come in at the end. That is a great show. And cheap. All they have to do is get proof of cheating, bring all the people together at the same time, and let the cameras roll. This morning, it was some old guy who had this hot chick living with him who of course was cheating on him with a younger guy. The old guy was obviously being used, her spending his money and using his house as a place to keep her clothes and stuff...loser. She was claiming she was over at a girlfriend's for three days straight! Andthe young guy was a complete idiot. When they confronted him, he kept yelling "How do you know her name? How do you know her name?" And then theywould say "He's her boyfriend" or "She's been living with him for two years". And he'd yell "Whadda you mean he's her boyfriend?" or "Whadda you mean she's been living with him for two years?" And then he would yell "How do you know her name?" again. That went on way too long. I said "Dude, they can't make it any clearer than that." And of course, she had no explanation, as always. I've noticed that - most of the cheaters never give an explanation, they just try to walk away. I guess they want time to think of an excuse. Anyway, the best part this morning was when the young guy tried to drive off, and the girl literally threw herself on the hood of his car to stop him. Awesome. And of course, the old guy dumped her, but the young guy "found a way to forgive her." I wanted to say "and I know exactly what that way was", if you know what I mean. But I take comfort in the knowledge that soon she will cheat and start the cycle all over again.

New Yuk Times 2.0

I've created a new version of the New Yuk Times, my news satire blog. It's exactly the same as the old blog except that it has fewer archived stories (until I transfer them from the old blog), fewer comments, and a new address that will make it easier to find -

And the new blog has the latest update. Since my other story on Steve Irwin was so well-received: Animal Kingdom Claims Victory In Steve Irwin's Death.

Monday, September 11, 2006

CSI: A Stripper's Paradise

I bought a CSI board game and it has character profiles for the cast. I never even knew the cast of CSI had characters. They all seem pretty interchangeable. They just have to walk onto a scene, make some sarcastic comments, and operate advanced equipment that no crime lab in the world could afford with expert skill at the drop of a hat. Anyway, I read in the manual that Catherine Willows worked her way through college through exotic dancing. To me, that seems like an ad for Las Vegas strippers. I mean, isn't the stereotype that all strippers are only stripping to pay their way through college? Well, Willows is living proof. "See?" the show says, "she did it and you can, too." Conspiracy theory? Possibly. But I defy anyone to tell me CSI isn't a commercial for Las Vegas. I mean, is the country's greatest forensics team really in Las Vegas?

As for the board, it's okay. I prefer Clue.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Bear Riding A Unicycle: Circus versus Wild

There was a guy on the radio calling his friend a bad father because he wouldn't take his kid to the circus. That friend argued that circuses are cruel to animals. The talk show host argued that animals are great in circuses - they get fed, medical care, no predators. That irritated me. If you don't care about animals, fine. If you don't care if animals are mistreated in circuses, fine. But don't try to argue circuses aren't cruel, because they are. I was just reading an article about how the whole concept of zoos is being questioned because it's almost impossible to replicate the environment of animals like elephants in a caged setting. And that's a zoo. Now look at an elephant living in a cage, forced to ride around on a tricycle. There's no way that animal is happy.
Categories: opinion

News Updates From the New Yuk Times

Breaking news from the New Yuk Times:
Fans Disappointed By Lack of Irony In Steve Irwin's Death

Monday, September 04, 2006

Han Solo: Frozen in Lego Bricks

And now for something completely different...a man with a sculpture of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

Down the Rabbit Hole: Larry Wachowski

What do a pre-op transsexual, a dominatrix, and Matrix Revolutions have in common? Larry Wachowski. Of course, we all know Larry Wachowski, co-creator of the Matrix movie series, but we know virtually nothing about him. And that's the way he likes it, because he seems to have a lot to hide. Rolling Stone did an investigation on just why he disappeared, divorced his wife, and hooked up with a cross-dresser. The answer is here...and a more disturbing and twisted story I have yet to read.
Warning: Contains adult themes and language. Reader discretion is advised.
Categories: entertainment

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Better Off Dead: Kenneth Lay

Well, Enron's Kenneth Lay is dead. He died before he served even one day of jail time. I think it's a sign of how much damage Kenneth Lay did that it seems like he got away with it. Death is literally too good for Lay. All I wanted was one day in prison. One day where there was no one there to cater to his every whim. No fancy meals, no cushy seats, no exotic countries, no plush beds. I mean, the guy died in his frickin' home in Aspen. I just hope the heart attack was painful. And I hope it was brought on by stress. Severe, agonizing stress at the thought of going to jail. Scumbag.