Saturday, May 30, 2009

Definitely Not A Jew

Radio host Adam Carolla has a theory that Jews don't commit stupid crimes or do stupid stuff. In memory of his old radio show, I've created a blog to provide proof of his theory: Definitely Not A Jew

Adwatch: Knee Replacement

I heard a commercial for a knee replacement implant, which seems odd. It was by Johnny Bench, all about how a new smaller knee replacement is perfect for older women, and to talk to your doctor. I thought knee replacements were based on need. Sounded like a commercial for a new car. "Get rid of that old broken down knee, and get a brand-new 2009 model! Now offering cash back and dealer incentives!" Are we entering a world where people get mechanical replacements for body parts, not because they have to, but because they want to? Seems like cyborg territory.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Jokebook: Last Words

Three guys die in a car crash. At the pearly gates, the angel says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen. You were taken before your time. We can’t send you back, but we’ll give you one last request. You can have your family and friends say anything you want at your funeral, and it will become true. What do you want it to be?”

One guy says, “I want them to say that I was a very successful stock broker with lots of cars and beautiful women.”

The second guy says, “I want them to say that I was a beloved man with lots of children, an adoring wife, and hundreds of friends.”

The third guy says, “I want them to say, ‘Hey, he’s moving!’"

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Fun in a Call Center: English Lessons

ME: How can I help you today?
MRS. REDNECK: Okay, I need you to get me over to somebody who’s in the Continental US who speaks English right now.
ME: Ma’am, I speak English. I’m in Tempe, Arizona.
MRS. REDNECK: Well, I can’t understand you. I can’t understand your accent.
MR. REDNECK: [background] What’s goin’ on?
MRS. REDNECK: [whisper] He says he’s in Tempe, Arizona.
MR. REDNECK: [background] Well, get somebody else.
MRS. REDNECK: Well, I need you to transfer me to somebody who I can freakin’ understand, somebody who speaks English as their native language.
ME: Ma’am, English is my native language.
MRS. REDNECK: Well, I want somebody else. Get me a supervisor.

Gladly. Like I said before, not all call centers these days are staffed by people in Bora Bora.

Related Posts:
Fun in a Call Center: Pango

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Quote of the Week: Beaver Control

"I'm very disappointed it wasn't done carefully. Anybody who works in beaver control should know better."
- Government official upset after a beaver dam's removal flooded a nearby golf course.