News Nuggets

The U.S. Army has blamed "influencers," adults who discourage young people from enlisting, for its failures to meet recruitment goals in recent months. Some have suggested another factor discouraging recruitment could be what is known as "getting killed."

A 45-year-old man in Maine was arrested when he was found hiding in the sewage tank of a women's outhouse. The old man's alibi? He apparently mistook the sewage tank for an episode of Being Bobby Brown.

A poll in In Touch magazine showed most women would want Jessica Simpson's hair. Most men polled wanted everything else.

Police briefly evacuated the U.S. Capitol when an airplane strayed into restricted airspace. This was considered a good test of the new homeland security plan, Operation Chinese Fire Drill.

Canada has announced that it will ban bulk exports of prescription drugs to the United States. This will finally bring to an end the threat of safe, cheap, effective drugs flooding our country.