Saturday, July 09, 2005

Last Night of Paris

Paris Hilton is retiring. May I be the first to say, "finally." Not fast enough. But someone needs to tell her two things.

First, you need to have a job to retire from it. Being filmed while you walk around causing trouble and being stupid is not a job, because I'm willing to bet Paris would be doing that, anyway. Her movie career consists of that hunk of junk House of Wax, and a Carl's Jr. commercial that (while popular) has not increased sales, which is pretty much the whole point of a commercial. Even with a ghost-writer and lots of pictures, her book still managed to make her look even dumber than before. So no tears will be shed on those fronts.

Second, Paris, you can't retire from being a dumb blonde. Sadly, that is what you are.

What she really means is "I'm marrying a billionaire, so I don't have to work for my money anymore." Which is fine with me. Just hope she can keep that knot tied long enough to cash in on the divorce. I think
Business First
put it best when they described the effects of Paris' retirement on the business world.

By the way, aren't the words "dumb" and "blonde" synonymous?


Mauricem said...

That article said everything I was thinking when I read the CNN artilce. My favorite line though is, "Devoting your time and energy to worshipping Paris Hilton falls on the scale of human activity somewhere between learning the Klingon language and pulling the wings off of flies."
Nuff' said.
Think we should have a celebration party?

Paris Hilton said...

by Paris Hilton
10. Star in "The Apprentice: The Paris Edition".
9. Start a bus company in London.
8. Look into joining Mensa. How hard could it be?
7. Buy Minnesotta for a shuffleboard court.
6. Put my dog 'Tinkerbell' out to stud.
5. Eat.
4. See if I can have lunch with that Terri Schiavo chick
3. Find out how much a "Best supporting actress" Oscar for "House of Wax" costs.
2. Get a personality.
1. I might get a couple of those "children" things. As long as they don't stretch my stomach out too much.

Mauricem said...

Check out the parody commercial for her commercial "What's Hot".
"That's just wrong Dad." - Sierra Mist

Monkey Migraine said...

That Top Ten thing is awesome