Saturday, July 09, 2005

GeekTalk: Jabba the Joke

The one thing I didn't like about the new movies is they totally screwed up one of my favorite characters - Jabba the Hutt. Bad enough they put in that scene in Episode IV where Jabba goes to see Han Solo, and Solo walks on Jabba's tail. First of all, the Jabba in Return of the Jedi wouldn't get off his dais to get away from Leia choking him, much less haul himself out to see Solo in
person. He would've just sent someone to kill him. Second, Jabba killed a dancing girl just for pulling away from him. The minute Solo stepped on his tail, Solo would've been dead. That whole scene just made Jabba into a big joke. Just like Episode I made him a joke with him sleeping during the pod race and stuff.

I loved Jabba in the original because he was the ultimate thug. He was so powerful that he didn't even need to move. His every whim was satisfied to the point where he did nothing but party. He would kill anyone he felt like for any reason, and there was nowhere in the galaxy you could get away from. And best of all, even though he was a fat, slimy slug, he still got hot babes.

The original Jabba was scary. People trembled in his presence. But after seeing him in the new movies and the re-done versions, Jabba doesn't seem quite so scary. I mean, he's still a bad-axe in Return of the Jedi, but it's just not the same. Oh, well. If you'll excuse me, I need to eat some frogs, order a bounty on that guy who cut me off on the freeway Sunday night, and make my slave girl dance for me in a metal bikini...until she displeases me and I dump her for a new one. Life is good for MonkeyMigraine the Hutt.

3 comments:

Monkey Migraine said...

Dear Sir,

I didn't like that character. Why would anyone want to watch a fat, disgusting slob with no talent and a bad temper?

Signed,
Anna Nicole Smith

Mauricem said...

Totally. Jabba was the baddest of the bad and they ruined his image just for the sake of a few pointless cameos.
The other thing I didn't like is that the reedited Jabba scene had almost the same dialog as Han's conversation with Greedo. What a waste.

glomgold said...

That re-done Jabba scene really did suck. Han Solo's lines just sounded like a looped track.
They should've added in some more Salacious Crumb in the other movies!! Dammit I wish they kept with the muppets whenever possible rather than the CGI.