Cereal World: Real S'Mores cereal

When I heard about Cereality, the restaurant that only serves breakfast cereal, I thought it was a sign of how pathetic American food is and how gullible college students are. But then I started thinking about their recipes, and I got one. I call it Real S'Mores Cereal.

1 cup Golden Grahams cereal
1 cup Cocoa Puffs cereal
1/3 cup mini-marshmallows

The key is the mini-marshmallows. And I'm not talking about the colored chalk they call marshmallows in Lucky Charms. I'm talking the real mini-marshmallows they use in baking and ice cream. If you try it before I do, let me know how it is.

Hot Stuff: Sophie Monk

The only good thing about Date Movie is Sophie Monk in one of the co-starring roles. You probably saw her in the Date Movie trailers, doing a parody of Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr commercials. At the time, I assumed she was just some random anonymous model in her first and probably last feature film. In reality, Monk is the Australian version of Kelly Clarkson. She won a televised contest called Popstars to form a girl band. Monk eventually broke out into a solo album. This was her first feature film. Monk's a little too skinny for me, but I've always had a thing for Australian women, and Monk's practically naked for most of the film...literally naked in her first scene. Here's hoping that stinker didn't torpedo her career, and she has an illustrious American movie career in skimpy outfits.

Bonus: Check out some shots from Date Movie at the Seriously Sophie Monk gallery.

Related: Don't See Date Movie

Stillfree.com: Best Videogame Promotion Ever

Remember my earlier post about a video that showed Air Force One being sprayed with graffiti? Well, it turns out that Stillfree.com is actually a promotional tool for the new graffiti-based videogame Getting Up. Now that's what I call clever. Check out the full story.

Jokebook: Fair Trade

A guy's going fishing and when he gets to the river, discovers that he forgot to bring bait. Just then, he spots a bird walking by with a worm in his mouth. The fisherman grabs the bird and pulls the worm out of its mouth. The fisherman feels bad for stealing the bird's breakfast, but all he has is a six-pack, so the fisherman pours a little beer into the bird's mouth and sends it on its way.

An hour later, the same bird lands on his boat. It's got three more worms in its mouth.
Categories: comedy

Donkeys vs Wives

"A donkey is like a housewife ... In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master."

Shocking? Yes? Sexist? Yes. What's more surprising is the source of this quote - a school textbook for 14-year olds in India. That part's getting a lot of press, but the truth is less so. It turns out kids weren't being taught this as fact - it's part of a chapter written by an Indian satirist. The chapter also makes a comparison of donkey's skin to politicians. Always read the byline.
Categories: news

Baby Fat: Lots to Love Doll

I was at the toy store and I saw a baby doll called Lots to Love. When I saw the slogan "It's just baby fat," my fear was confirmed. It's a fat baby doll. That, to me, is deeply disturbing. In an age where obesity is an epidemic among children, and we're struggling to get them to exercise and eat right, along comes the Lots to Love doll. Telling them fat babies are cuter than healthy babies. What if the kids decide that being overweight would make them cute, too? That just bugs me.
Categories: misc

Air Force One Graffiti

Some guys made a commercial of somebody defacing Air Force One. The video's so real that the Secret Service had to check to make sure it wasn't. Check it out at: http://www.stillfree.com/

Batman vs Osama: Holy Terror

Frank Miller is working on a graphic novel entitled "Holy Terror, Batman" where Batman fights Al-Qaeda in Gotham City. Miller is pitching this as a throwback to when superheroes fought the Nazis in the 1940's. While Frank Miller is right that Captain America punched out Hitler, I think everyone agrees that it was a little goofy. The problem with having fictional superheroes beat up real villains is that the real person is still around. So what good is it? Besides that, compared to the Joker and Ras Al-Ghul, Al-Qaeda is small change. I think Miller would have been better off doing a fictionalized version of Al-Qaeda or a metaphor of Al-Qaeda. I just hope Frank Miller doesn't go so far as to have Batman punch Osama bin Laden. Because that's just silly. I find it interesting that Frank Miller, who had Batman basically fighting the US government in Dark Knight Returns is now so gung-ho into propaganda. Funny what happens when we get older, isn't it?

Bonus: For a more insightful discussion on the graphic novel, check out the Batman Message Board.

E-Filing Phobia

There's an article in USA Today about how the IRS is trying to get people to file electronically, but taxpayers are increasingly using the Web to file their taxes, then printing out and mailing their tax returns. Sad to say, I'm one of them. When asked why they did that, many said cost or lack of trust. With me, it was just ignorance. I don't remember getting the option to file electronically or if I did, I wasn't paying attention. I wish I had, since the fricken thing cost me $50 to print out. I will next year.

Blundercats

The audio is real, the video I added...

25 Things Guys Find Sexy

Stuff Magazine published a list, one of those things that's sad but true: 25 Things Guys Shouldn't Find Sexy But Do. And the list is:
1. BIKE SEATS
2. GIRLS FIGHTING
3. THE AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE YOU HEAR WHEN YOU DIAL 4–1–1
4. GYNECOLOGY
5. LEOPARD PRINTS
6. OUR FRIENDS’ MOMS
7. GIRLS HUGGING
8. WOMEN DRESSED AS MEN
9. SHOE-STORE EMPLOYEES TYING YOUR LACES
10. FEMALE BARTENDERS
11. FEMALE POLICE OFFICERS
12. PREGNANT WOMEN
13. FAT GIRLS
14. SCHOOLGIRL UNIFORMS
15. JESSICA RABBIT
16. HELENA BONHAM CARTER IN PLANET OF THE APES
17. CONDOM INSTRUCTIONS
18. WOMEN WHO HATE US
19. CAROLYN FROM THE APPRENTICE
20. LINGERIE DEPARTMENTS
21. BURQAS
22. TAN LINES
23. FEMALE COLLEAGUES BENDING OVER
24. VISIBLE PANTY LINES
25. HORSEBACK RIDING

It's true for the most part. I want to make a list of things women shouldn't find sexy, like sweat, Sean Connery, and construction workers.

UPDATE 05/01/08: I've added the actual list to this post. Click on the link to see the explanations, if you need them.

Writer's Block

I've seen some blogs (thanks to BlogExplosion) where people's blog entries are actually about how they have nothing to write about. I guess that's what they call writer's block. My opinion? If you can't think of anything to blog about, then maybe you shouldn't have a blog. I have the opposite problem. I have too much to blog about. I literally have hundreds of blog entry ideas. I have text files full of blog entries. There are two reasons why this blog doesn't have a hundred posts a day. One is that I don't have the time, because I have to do things like eat, sleep, and work for a living. The other is that I'd like readers to pay attention to each individual entry and not drown readers with stuff. I'm pacing myself. But one of these days I'll do a flood and you'll see what my mind is really like. Prepare yourself. Not a pleasant sight.
Categories: misc

Urine Denial: The Kisses Urinal

The Virgin Atlantic airline got on the wrong side of the National Organization for women when they announced they would be installing the Kisses Urinal in their airport club bathrooms. The problem? The Kisses Urinal is shaped like a woman's open mouth. Seems the idea of men urinating into a woman's mouth got on the bad side of NOW. Virgin backed down, but sales of the urinal went through the roof. The debate turned more complicated when it turned out the urinals were designed by a woman.

The designer insisted that it was designed to be a "sexless, cartoonish mouth" and the idea that someone might interpret the act as urinating into a woman's open mouth never even occured to her. Right. That's why the urinal is called "Kisses," and why their own website describes it as "the sexy urinal," "a blushing experience," and "one target men will never miss." Admit it, lady, you're a pervert trying to appeal to other perverts, and you got caught.
Categories: news

Jokebook: Drinks Are On Me

A guy walks into a bar and and yells, "Hey, everybody, drinks are on me! You too, bartender, get one for yourself."

After everybody gets their drinks, the bartender gives him the bill.

The guy says, "I don't have any money." So the bartender beats him up and throws him out.

The next day, the same guy walks into the same bar and yells, "Hey, everybody, drinks are on me! You too, bartender, get one for yourself."

Once again, the bartender presents him with the bill, and the guy says, "I don't have any money." So the bartender beats him up and throws him out again.

The next day, the same guy walks into the bar and yells, "Everybody, the drinks are on me! Except no drink for you, bartender."

The bartender is already rolling up his sleeves, but pauses and asks, "Hey, no drink for me?"

The guy says, "No, you get violent when you're drunk."

DUH: Dilbert's Ultimate House

What if you could design the ultimate house with the latest in interior design and modern technology? What if you tried to eliminate every conceivable problem in the modern home while adding features we all want? That was the goal with Dilbert's Ultimate House (DUH). Scott Adams collected hundreds of suggestions from around the world, and sought advice from engineers and scientists, then worked with a top-notch 3D modeling company to create a house even Bill Gates would kill to live in. There are so many things in this house that I could never list them all, but how about:
* A separate room for storing litter box
* A kid's bathroom that can literally be hosed down
* No wasted space with things like a foyer or living room
* A guest bedroom with an inflatable Aerobed and clothes racks that roll
out when not needed
* A soundproofed room for meditating, playing music, or putting screaming
kids
Through the wonders of computer graphics, you can even take a virtual tour of the house and dream of what might have been.

Paris Hilton Gets Jiggy With It

Flushed with success from their Academy Award-Winning song, It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp (and who doesn't love that little ditty), The Three 6 Mafia have agreed to record an album with none other then Paris Hilton. What a bunch of sell-outs. I know of no greater way to ruin your hip-hop street cred than to have "recorded an album with Paris Hilton" attached to your name.
Categories: entertainment

Pee Phone: The Ultimate Abuse of Cell Phones

We've already seen enough abuse of cell phones while at the bank, while driving, even in church. But we all need to be proactive to stop what is, to me, the ultimate abuse of the cellphone. Last week, when I was sitting in a bathroom stall, I heard someone talking on the phone. I figured he's gonna have to shut it off. But he didn't. He stepped into the stall next to me, still talking. I thought to myself "Surely at this point, he'll shut off the phone." But he didn't. It was like that scene in Naked Gun where Drebin forgets to turn off his microphone while he goes in the john. I swear, if that was me listening to that, I would've hung up and never spoken to that person again. Are we really willing to become a world that would tolerate that? I hope not.
Categories: opinion

Make Your Own Slither Trailer

I love movie trailers. Ever see a trailer so great that you knew you had to see the movie? And then the movie sucked. Like Wild Wild West. And The Phantom Menace. Well, the movie Slither has a novel promotional tool. It's called Slug It Out and it lets you create your own trailer with clips from the movie, music, and titles. They actually held a contest and will be airing the winning trailer, but I think it's fun all by itself. Too bad it's not for a better movie. It looks like a rip-off of Night of the Creeps. I would've loved to create a trailer for Spiderman 2 or Revenge of the Sith.

By the way, why do so many horror movies these days claim to revolutionize the horror movie genre? And then they never do. Whatever.
Categories: entertainment

Men Are Such Sad, Pathetic Creatures

I was snooping around on YouTube to give my new DSL connection a test drive and stumbled across a homemade music video called "Hey." It has to be good, considering the hundreds of people watching it, right? I watched it and quickly realized it was just two girls doing some vague dance moves in their bedroom to a song by the Pixies. Good? No. But the girls are cute and scantily-clad. Imagining the hundreds of guys drooling over this video gave me a pang of sadness for my gender. We're so easily-manipulated. Most guys will flock to watch scantily-clad women doing anything, including washing cars, fixing computers, and even just standing there. Shouldn't we be better than this, considering we rule the world? No point to this rant, really...all the men who should be reading this are too busy drooling over pictures of cute girls on some other blog.
Categories: opinion

Honda Element and Friends

Every day for the past month, I've driven past a billboard on the freeway that says "What do a Honda Element and a platypus have in common? Find out at 1640 AM right now." Turns out the billboard has a radio transmitter in it that broadcasts a loop of commercials for the Honda Element. Pretty cool idea, interactive, I like it. Only problem is I drive by it at 75 MPH. By the time I turn on the radio, it's already half over, and within 20 seconds, the signal is too weak to hear the rest of it. Good idea, poor execution. They should made the commercials shorter and used a stronger broadcast signal. But you can also check out the commercials (in cartoon format) at Honda Element and Friends. So what's the point of the billboard? Could've saved some money by just having the billboard read "Go to Honda Element and Friends.com."
Categories: misc

Secret Origins: Green Lantern

I found a website which chronicles the true origin of Green Lantern. Would you believe he was originally supposed to be a knock-off of Aladdin? That makes sense - it's a lantern and a ring that make his wishes come to life. Some weird but true facts:
* The creator was inspired while riding the train and watching a train worker swinging a green lantern
* The original Green Lantern was carved out of a meteor by a Chinese man who was killed by local villagers for practicing witchcraft
* The first Green Lantern was going to be named Alan Ladd after Aladdin. His vulnerability was wood.
This and much more can be found...here.