Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Angelina Jolie Now Officially Less Sexy

Esquire Magazine, who named Angelina Jolie the sexiest woman alive last year, has named Jennifer Biel the sexiest woman for 2005. Angelina Jolie dropped to number second. I guess they think that whole affair with Brad Pitt took her down a peg. Not to sound mean, but I think it ups it a little bit. And ladies, don't tell me Jolie's a whore for stealing him away from Jennifer Aniston. You would've done the same thing. I would guess ninety percent of the women in Hollywood, much less the world, who came in contact with Pitt tried to seduce him. None of them could do it except Angelina Jolie. I'm not saying I like her any better as a person - I'm just saying that's a strong argument. It's a sexiness poll, not a morality poll.

As for Jessica Biel, I don't agree with that at all. Esquire said they wanted to pick someone "fresh," which doesn't make sense to me. It's a sexiness poll, not a freshness poll. I'm not even saying that Jessica Biel isn't attractive, but I would never put her in the "sexy" category. Heck, I wouldn't even put her in the Top Ten. She's got that 7th Heaven albatross hanging around her neck. She's too pure. She needs to do a Playboy shoot or a nude scene in a movie or something. I didn't say Maxim magazine shoot, that doesn't count. She's gotta do a Halle-Berry-in-Swordfish gratuitious nude scene that'll blow all our memories of her as a minister's daughter out of the water. Talk to Alyssa Milano, she's the expert at that. Until then, Jessica Biel is not the sexiest woman alive. Now Jessica Alba, that you could make an argument for.

3 comments:

glomgold said...

I'll always make an argument for Jessica Alba. These magazines never want to keep the same person in the same spots for consecutive years.

Mauricem said...

Jessica Alba is definately the winner. She's ten times hotter now than when she was on Dark Angel. How does that happen? I guess she just chose the right roles.
Sidenote: Ebert and Roeper went to town on the number of gratuitous butt shots in "Into the Blue"...Not that there's anything wrong with that.
"http://tvplex.go.com/buenavista/ebertandroeper/mp3/051003-into_the_blue.mp3"

Monkey Migraine said...

I agree, glomgold, these magazines just shuffle people around. That drives me crazy. Why is Jude Law the most beautiful person last year and not this year? He didn't get in a disfiguring car accident or anything.

That makes me want to see that movie even more. I agree, Mauricem, Alba does seem hotter these days. She was cute in "Dark Angel", but it's off the charts now. It's a rare woman I think looks better as a blonde, but Alba pulls that off.

Plus, that butt is making Jennifer Lopez look bad. I meant to post on this, but couldn't find a picture...the Invisible Woman figurine did absolutely nothing. Not even that semi-transparent arm thing from the action figure. It was just a figure of her standing there. But it did have an incredible curvy butt, one that had obviously been worked on in detail. I think that's the only reason they sold her figurine.