Unseen Movie Review: Dukes of Hazzard

There are some movies that I am simply not going to see, but want to talk about. Those are my Unseen Movie Reviews.

If it wasn't for Jessica Simpson, nobody would've even mentioned the Dukes of Hazzard movie. It would've made the remake of Bewitched look like a media circus. The sad part is I actually loved Dukes of Hazzard and would've gone to see it if it looked even slightly good, and the promotion department had something else to talk about besides short-shorts. I thought Jessica was hot, but they over-promoted her, and her lying about using a butt double tells me she hasn't gotten any new brain cells lately. Just admit to the fact that one part of your body does not look good. It happens, Jessica. Your boobs more than make up for it. And Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg? His last name is Hogg, he's supposed to be fat. I dunno. Just another bad TV remake. Haven't seen it, but give it a D. Hope it bombs and sends Jessica back into the media basement. On the plus side, if she and Nick breaking up, we won't have any more Nick and Jessica specials. Expect Jessica to disappear and re-surface with dyed black hair, nude photo spreads, and a slutty image ala' Cristina Aguilera. Well, we can only hope.