Monday, August 01, 2005

Close the Door

What's up with guys hitting the "close door" button on elevators? I'm not saying there's not a time for hitting that button, like if you get on the elevator and you're the only one getting on. Yeah, fine. Or maybe the door opens and you look outside and there's no one there. Go for it. But now that I've started working in an office building, I see what I consider abuse of the "close" button. I see guys get on and hit the close button without even glancing back to see if anyone else is following them. I've seen people get off at a floor, and some guy still on the elevator immediately hits the close button. Doesn't even look out. He's assuming that nobody else is waiting to get on. Or maybe he doesn't care. More likely the latter.

I've even seen a guy hit the open button as the elevator gets to his floor. I hate to tell the guy, but elevators open the doors on their own. That's what they do. Like if he didn't hit the "open" button, the elevator would just sit there, trapping us all inside forever.

The last straw was today, the second time I almost got crushed in the doors because some idiot hit the "close" button right as I was stepping through them to get on. This time, the guy gave me a "sorry, bud" that sounded completely insincere. "Sorry I almost crushed you, bud. Won't try to kill you again." But the first time, I'm pretty sure the girls getting on saw me coming. Like they didn't want me to get on. Nice try, but I was too quick for 'em.

Is this where America has gotten as a society? That we can't wait the full five seconds for elevator doors to close? I'd like to know exactly what people are doing where that five seconds would make a difference. Unbelievable. Just let the doors open and close, people. I'm sure a lot of engineers spent a lot of time and energy designing elevators so they open and close on their own. Maybe we should go back to the days where guys sit on the little stool to open and close the doors manually. But these days, they'd probably get beaten up for not doing it fast enough. We'd have "elevator rage."

4 comments:

Monkey Migraine said...

Dear Sir,

I disagree. Elevator doors move way too slow.

Signed,
Sunlight

Monkey Migraine said...

Dear Sir,

You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!

Signed,
George Costanza

Mauricem said...

HA HA! nice commentary. I think people are just getting more and more selfish. They want that feeling of owning the elevator all to themselves and avoiding the awkwardness of being locked in a small room with a stranger.
Our job doesn't have an elevator, but if it did...

glomgold said...

Maybe all these people are unleashing earth-shattering farts in there and hoping to close the doors before anyone notices.