Jokebook: Sobriety Test

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He drinks the whole beer, looks in his shirt pocket, then orders another beer. He drinks the whole beer, looks in his shirt pocket again, and orders another beer.

When he drinks the beer and looks in his pocket for a third time, the bartender has to ask, "Hey, what's in your pocket?"

The guy says, "A picture of my wife."

The bartender nods and says, "Oh, that's sweet. Is that to remind you she's waiting at home for you?"

The guy says, "No. When she starts to look good, that's when I know I've had enough."