Don't Call It A Comeback

And now for a Prince update...(brrrddddd-WAM!)...don't call it a comeback, he's been here for years. CNN has an interview with Prince where he talks about being one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I dunno, he doesn't sound too good to me...he has no regrets about what he did when he was younger? Guess I'll have to wait and see. If I see him in the New System, I'll have lunch with him.

P.S. Visit Watchtower.org

Wikipedia: Alan King

I wrote a biography for Wikipedia on Alan King, who died last month. Actually, it was more like I expanded a very short article on King into a real biography. It's not that I care so much about Alan King, but I couldn't stand the thought of someone going to Wikipedia for information on Alan King and not finding it. The research was pretty interesting, though.

Black Mesa PC

Thanks for the link to Pinwire, it's a pretty good website over all. Found this link on there, pics of a Half-Life 2-inspired PC mod. Freakin' awesome.

Star Sagae

I finally found it, the penultimate satire of the production of "Star Wars" that I ran into months ago and lost. Well, maybe it's not penultimate, but it's very funny. You can find the history of "Star Saga" at modernhumorist.com.

Where's the Booty

And one final Beyonce's booty update...(brrrddddd-WAM!)...the new wax figure of Beyonce has been unveiled, and it looks great. Just like her. But where's the mechanical wiggling booty we reported a while back? The articles just talk about the "diva-o-meter," which seems to be a glorified karoke machine. Maybe they just don't have the technology yet to duplicate Beyonce's booty. Or maybe it was all a gag to begin with. What a tease.

Slap-Happy Simmons

It's time for a Richard Simmons update...(brrddddd-WAM!) As you know, Richard Simmons was being sued by a 250-pound cage wrestler for slapping him in a Phoenix airport. Well, the suit's been dropped. There's no reason given, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's a 250-pound cage wrestler and he's accusing Richard Simmons of assault. That wrestler would never live that trial down. You know his next opponent would be coming into the ring playing "Sweatin' to the Oldies" and wearing an afro.

Milk and Cereal?

I was at the dollar store last week and they had some of those milk and cereal bars, Frosted Flakes flavor. I admit, I've been curious about them, although I've been equally offended. Have we gotten so lazy and rushed in American society that we can't even bother to pour cereal into a bowl? But I was curious (that whole "pouring cereal into a bowl" thing is kind of tedious), so I bought some.

I took one bite and my first thought was "amazing." Not because it was that good, but because I realized the people who designed them are marketing geniuses. That's because "milk and cereal" bars are Rice Krispies squares. Well, Frosted Flakes squares, but you know what I mean. The "milk" is really just marshmallow, which is made from milk, I think. Or at least some kind of dairy product. Anyway, the point is that it's just candy, but it's being packaged as a breakfast alternative, even a health food. That's brilliant, if not devious.

Everybody's Kung-fu Fighting

Here's that link I mentioned to the site that shows how to make your own kung-fu movie special effects. It's called the Kung-Fu Konstruction Kit. Even has sound effects. I'll try them out.

Sliders Reborn

Think the Sliders online community withered away once the Scifi Channel pulled the plug? I thought so, too, until I stumbled across one of the old sites. Not only has it continued, it's prospered. Check out the staggering depth of the original fansite, EarthPrime, just to start with. And the DVDs are coming in August! Sweet!

Secret Window, Secret Ending

I ran into a copy of "Four Past Midnight," the anthology by Stephen King that contained "Secret Window, Secret Garden" which inspired the movie of the shorter name. I just had to flip through it to find the answer to something that's been bugging me since I saw it: was that the original ending?

Answer: No. In the short story, the "hero" is indeed John Shooter, the product of his deranged imagination. But in the original ending, he is killed and his wife is the one who figures out and explains the twisted origin of Shooter. Which leads me to the question, why the heck did they change it? I had a huge problem with turning the hero into a villain who gets away with a grisly and unnecessary murder. They even seemed to be apologizing for it by establishing that he didn't get away with it, that the sheriff and everyone in town knows he's done it. So why not just leave it the way it was? And what was the obsession with corn from?

Screenwriters...they just can't leave well-enough alone.

Randomlynx: Fake Ads

Some funny fake ad banners by Valley of the Geeks. My favorite is the one for X-10.

CelebrityWatch: Michael Jackson Sucks

We've got a Michael Jackson update (bddddd-WAM!)...Macaulay Culkin's father says he walked in on Michael Jackson sucking on a baby bottle. And it wasn't Culkin's bottle. Oddly enough, this seems like the least weird thing Jackson's done.

Related Posts:
Michael Jackson is a Child Molester
Michael Jackson is a Big, Fat Liar
Michael Jackson: 2045

Update Sound

One thing I love about the Tony Bruno Show is that they always present wacky news, calling it an "update." And when they do, they play the sound effect from "A Current Affair." So they'll say "We have a Michael Jackson update..." (brrrrrddd-WAM!) So I'll do that too. We're going multimedia on ya.

CelebrityWatch: Jewel Cracks

I've got a Jewel update(brrrrrddd-WAM!)...It looks like Jewel is showing her true colors. There's an article about how Jewel did a concert where she basically insulted and yelled at her audience more than sing. That'll win her some new fans.
---
Dear Sir,

It always disturbing when musicians go crazy in public. At least I had the decency to do it on the Internet.

Signed,
Mariah Carey

New, Un-improved Blog

Well, I've given up on holding off with updating the blog. I like the new look, but I still can't get the Haloscan comments back. Hopefully they'll fix it soon. And all my sidebar links are gone. On the plus side, Blogger has improved the new commenting system.

Wil Wheaton.Net

I mentioned this before, but if you haven't been there yet, you must visit WilWheaton.net, home of none other than the former Wesley Crusher. Now's a good time, because he's on the verge of releasing his memoirs.

I Gotta Have More Cowbell, Baby!

I saw this on SNL's "Best of Christopher Walken" last night, and I had to share. It's considered by some to be Will Ferrell's finest moment. Certainly (as one person put it) only Walken could've made the word "cowbell" this funny. It took a lot of work to find the video, but here it is. Get it while it lasts, because SNL's been trying to pull it offline. Keep an eye on what's-his-name in the lefthand background, the guy who does Weekend Update (badly). It's not too clear in this video, but he's desperately trying to hold back laughter the whole time.

Prisoners Inventions

Speaking of prisoners' resourcefulness, there was a piece on This American Life about a book called "Prisoner's Inventions." It's a collection of inventions by prisoners...hence the name. The radio piece is pretty good (check out part two of the archived version), but there's also a website with photos and descriptions that never made it into the story. See how they make chess sets and cigarette lighters in the big house. I guess they have nothing better to do.

Brad Pitt Has Bad B.O.

Is it wrong to enjoy the fact that "Troy" is doing weak business at the box office? Yeah, don't let anybody fool you. This article at Yahoo Movies breaks down the numbers and shows why "Troy" isn't the monster hit it should have been. I guess Brad Pitt in a loincloth isn't enough. But again, should I feel bad about relishing Pitt falling on his chiseled face? I personally never thought "Troy" would be good. No one ever talked about that movie, except for the usual winking, girly-girl "let's go see Brad Pitt half-naked" articles. If it had starred Steve Buscemi, it wouldn't have gotten on page fourteen of "Entertainment Weekly."

Hollywood Psycho

I don't understand why Tarantino is allowed to run rampant in Hollywood. After the gore-fest of "Kill Bill" and "From Dusk Till Dawn," he's still not satisfied. He's been quoted at Cannes as saying he wants to make the most violent, bloody movie ever, since "violence is fun." I wonder if anyone's done a psych profile on him, since he's clearly sadistic, if not deranged. There's a good article on the increase in violence in Hollywood, comparing (of all things) "Passion of the Christ" and "Kill Bill" at floridatoday.com. And in an unrelated note, Tarantino wants to direct the next Bond movie. I guess we can look forward to James Bond lopping off people's heads in the next movie.

Tell Shaq I Said...

Modern Humorist.com created a response to Shaq's racist Yao Ming crack called "Shaq-Fu", and I couldn't have put it better myself.

Movie Cliche Theater

A compilation of all the movie cliches, all rolled into one funny mp3...it's the Movie Cliche Theater trailer. Not as funny as it could have been, but still funny.

Howard the Duck...why?

In case you're wondering, there's an interview with the guy who made the "Howard the Duck 2" trailer on Comics2Film.

Clone Wars Season One

Well, I finally finished the "Clone Wars" season one clips, and it was pretty good. I still don't like the new Anakin's voice, but that Sith babe was cool. Great fight, I'm glad they spent two episodes on it. I'm not sure what the point of the "season" was, though. Like what the heck was the Sith attack on the Jedi temple supposed to achieve? And why those episodes on Mace Windu and the undersea Jedi fights? It felt like Genndy just had cool ideas for scenes and strung them together.

Karsten's Creations

This is what I want to make...Karsten's Dream Theater, where the author has created a series of comical and wishful movie trailers. The quality varies ("Desperation" trailer is pretty good, "Mist" stinks), but I admire his enthusiasm.

Save Gas

What with gas prices hitting $2.13 on the cheap stuff, here are some important tips from About.com on how to save gasoline. Some of them are pretty obvious, but not filling your tank all the way? That's a surprise. Also, check out an official site at fueleconomy.gov.

Using Your Mind For Evil

At long last, I get to be Dr. No. There's a new game coming out for the PC called Evil Genius." It's a simulation where you get to be a 1960's criminal mastermind, building a secret underground lair, stealing monuments, and plotting to take over the world. It reminds me a lot of "Dungeon Keeper," where it reverses the usual game formula and lets you be the one foiling the efforts of secret agents and soldiers trying to stop you. You can build traps to stop them or unleash your evil army. I watched the demo movie and it looks great. Hope it lives up to its hype.

Thunderbirds Are Stop...

Okay, I had only a passing interest in the new "Thunderbirds" movie until I saw the trailer. I never really watched the original show that much, anyway. But I watched the trailer and was blown away, thought it was fantastic and got excited about the movie. Then I finished the trailer and saw the twist that made me think this is gonna be a terrible movie. I daresay it's the biggest revisionist blunder since the "Mission Impossible" movie killed off Tom Cruise's team. Why can't they just leave it alone?!

Iron Man: The Fake Poster

Check out my first photo-editing project. Inspired by those fake movie posters, I made a poster for "Iron Man" starring Tom Cruise (who really is interested in the project) as Tony Stark and Ken Watanabe (he could do it) as the Mandarin. This isn't the version I wanted to make, but I got tired and threw this together, and I think it worked pretty well.

iStories

"Coming soon from Apple...iStories! Read any book you want in the new iStories format! It's just like a regular book with the following restrictions: You can only read the book in three authorized chairs in your house. If you want to read it in a different chair, you have to de-authorize one of the three chairs and authorize the new chair. If you want to read the book outside of your house, you can, but you're limited to three times. After the third time, you will no longer be able to read the book outside of your house. Other than that, it's just like a regular book! Buy one today!"

That sums up how I feel about iTunes, which I signed up for and liked until I realized the songs I bought aren't mine to do with as I please.

Pay 4 MP3

I have an idea for a protest movement that could save MP3s. The idea came from this site which criticizes iTunes. Valid points...but his suggestion of sending money directly to the artist made me think. What if that's not such a crazy idea? Concept: people download a song over Kazaa or whatever. They like it, they send a dollar to the artist (any publicly available address will do), along with an anonymous letter that basically says "I downloaded your song. This dollar is payment for it." The concept is to show that people who download mp3s would pay for them if they could, that we're not all thieves. If enough people did this, I think it would send a powerful message to the musicians and refute the RIAA's claims that they have to put all these crappy restrictions on online music to control it. "Hey, we're paying for them and you didn't even ask!" Plus, imagine Eminem or Jewel being told they've been sent hundreds of dollars by anonymous online music fans. How could they still oppose the mp3 community? I wish I could work on this, make a site with a form letter and a database of addresses for various artists. I want to start the revolution.

Riddick has arrived

Riddick is coming...with a vengenance, as they say. There's two awesome trailers for the "Chronicles of Riddick" movie on the official website, there's a new director's cut (and renaming) of the original "Chronicles of Riddick: Pitch Black" and they've also gone the Matrix route with an animated DVD called "COR: Dark Fury" on its way, too. They obviously expect big things from Riddick. Also, check out this woman's site, "Reasons Why Riddick"...she's even more obsessed about Riddick then we are.

Pat Tillman Revisited

What with the love-fest everyone now seems to have for a low-level NFL player most people never heard of until he gave up a relatively small amount of money to kill innocent people and got his head shot off, I found this cartoon refreshing. Of course, everyone's upset about it. Wonder why?

Funny Sports

Sports can be pretty funny sometimes. Check out these sound clips...Joe Namath's famous "I wanna kiss you" to a female interviewer...why people hate Coach Bobby Knight...why NFL players like Carl Lewis shouldn't sing the anthem...and at last, what Allen Iverson thinks about practice...practice?!

The White Stripes

If you've never seen the White Stripes, you can download some of their performances at the official website. Try "7NA/Death Letter" for a sample. Check it out...it's rare to see true rockers these days, and these two really get into their music. Also, Meg White (the drummer) is kinda hot in a goth sort of way.