Friday, July 31, 2009

Movie Rules: Condemned to Death

Movie Rule #819: Condemned prisoners will do anything.

Whenever there’s something crazy, violent, illegal, and potentially lethal to be done in movies, condemned prisoners are the ones to do it. They can get death row inmates to agree to fight a suicide mission, participate in lethal combat on a desert island or in weaponized cars, let their brains be controlled, or anything else. I know death row prisoners are desperate, but are they really that eager a source of labor? And even if they were willing to do it, these movies always have to set in a near-future with a decaying government, because the current political climate would never let prisoners be exposed to that kind of thing.

Imagine a movie where a prisoner's on death row, and someone says, “Hey, good news. There’s a new program that can get you out. The only catch is that you’ll have to put on a clown suit, strap a bomb to your chest, and run through a maze while genetically-engineered dinosaurs chase you on live television.” And the prisoner goes, “No, thanks. I think I’ll just wait on my appeal. Or a petition from the governor.” I’d like to see that.

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Mauricem said...

LOL. Too true. I guess it shows a lack of faith in our legal system since the prisoners are almost always innocent.

I LOVE that movie description. You could call it "Killer Clowns meets Jurassic Park".

Monkey Migraine said...

Another good point! These movies always feature a wrongly convicted prisoner.