Friday, May 04, 2007

Virtual NASCAR

My office had a NASCAR simulator in the office, and everyone was all excited. Needless to say, my office is predominantly white. I personally wasn't interested, but was curious what a NASCAR simulator would be like, so I looked it up. I found this very interesting article on the challenges and successes of creating a racing simulation. While I applaud and am thrilled by the idea of such an incredible simulation of the fun and thrills of an auto racing simulation, I feel duty-bound to make fun of NASCAR. As a result, I offer up my take on the NASCAR simulator.

Beer drinking - The biggest and most popular part of NASCAR is captured with this simulator. Put on a pair of special gloves that simulate the weight and feel of a can of beer. Put on a pair of goggles that progressively distort your hearing and sight with every beer you drink. See how many beers you can drink and still be aware of the race.

Tobacco Chewing Simulator - Chew on virtual tobacco and spit virtual black goop. Chew it long enough and you get virtual mouth cancer and virtual jaw removal surgery.

Inbreeding Simulator - scan in a picture of your brother and/or sister and see what your children will look like. Children are ranked by the number of teeth and limbs. If you get a child that has more than three teeth, you win a prize.

Car Crash Simulator - Put on a pair of goggles and see and hear cars crash. This could also be considered a simulation of whole reason for NASCAR's popularity.

Left Turn Lovers: NASCAR Romance


Mauricem said...

LOL thas true my brother. Especially the mouth cancer one. Here's a better question: you have arcade games at your job?! How do I get a job there?

Monkey Migraine said...

Well, the simulator was brought in as a special event. It's not here anymore. I wish they had arcade games.