Tuesday, May 03, 2005

News Nuggets

"People" magazine released its annual "50 Most Beautiful People" issue this week. Once again, by an astonishing coincedence, all fifty of them are rich and famous. Last year's most beautiful person, Jude Law, is not this year's most beautiful person, which means over the course of a year he has become hideously ugly.

George Lucas announced at a convention that he plans to create two Star Wars-themed television shows. Just what this world needs, another reason for geeks to stay indoors.

Toads have been mysteriously exploding in Germany in a case that's baffled scientists. One theory - the toads are being kissed by Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Yes, Prince Charles did marry his long-time mistress Camilla Parker-Bowles several weeks ago. The marriage caused massive earthquakes all over England from the Royal Family rolling in their collective graves. On the plus side, the prospect of Camilla becoming queen has driven British scientists on a quest to make the Queen Mother immortal.

Cars went out of control at a NASCAR race, causing a huge twenty-one car pileup that almost managed to make the race interesting. Officials claimed to be upset at the crash, but off-the-record were quoted as saying, "Them hicks sure do love the crashes."

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig called for a stronger drug-testing policy for the sport. The first and boldest step? Testing for drugs.

4 comments:

glomgold said...

What a smart guy, that Bud Selig! I hope he adds some car crashes into baseball games to make them more interesting.

Mauricem said...

All good, but my favorite was the earthquake one.
THought about posting to freezedriedcomedy.blog.com yet?

Monkey Migraine said...

Top Ten Star Wars TV Shows

10. Vader the Jedi Slayer
9. The Apprentice: Darth Vader Edition
8. Desperate Hothwives
7. Will and Mace Windu
6. X-Wing Makeover
5. The Rebel Life
4. Tattooine Idol
3. Survivor: Sarlaac Pit Edition
2. C.S.-Jedi
1. Law and Yoda

Mauricem said...

Jedi Slayer. Hothwives. Apprentice. Sarlaac pit
Good ones!