Wednesday, June 18, 2008

If Microsoft Made Medication...

If Microsoft made medication...

10. Anyone who took them would be more vulnerable to catching viruses.
9. The drugs would cause you to collapse into unconsciousness at random times. This would be known as a "system crash."
8. It would be hard to tell if you were taking the right drug, because Microsoft would make all its medication look exactly the same - square and gray.
7. Even though Microsoft says their drugs are "Gulp-and-Go" compatible, only certain people can take Microsoft drugs. Anyone else who tries to take Microsoft drugs dies immediately. The only way to tell if you're compatible with Microsoft drugs is to take them and see if you die.
6. You could only buy Microsoft drugs from Microsoft pharmacies.
5. The drugs would have hundreds of side effects, all of which would be identified only by esoteric numbers that no one understood.
4. You would never know when you would suffer the dreaded Blue Spleen of Death.
3. Every time Microsoft released a new batch of the medication, the old pills would stop working.
2. Whenever someone identified a problem with the medication, instead of fixing the medication, Microsoft would release other drugs to take to fix the problems with the first one.
1. No one could take non-Microsoft drugs, because Microsoft would design its drugs to have lethal interactions with other manufacturer's drugs.


Mauricem said...

ROFL I was waiting for this one and its brilliant. I wish I could point to just one, but they're all good. Thought about publishing it somewhere?

Monkey Migraine said...

I have, but not sure where. I'm surprised no one ever did this one before