Monday, June 16, 2008

Every episode of "House, MD" in a Nutshell

Why sit through endless episodes of House, MD when you can enjoy the entire series all at once? Here's every episode of House, MD in a nutshell.

FADE IN

PERSON DOES SOMETHING WEIRD, THEN COLLAPSES.

CUT TO:
HOUSE AND TEAM DISCUSSING CASE

HOUSE: I'm a genius and everyone else is an idiot. Including the patient. I hate you all.

TEAM MEMBER 1: I think it's a very simple and common disease the viewer's never heard of.
TEAM MEMBER 2: I think it's a complex and rare disease the viewer's never heard of.
TEAM MEMBER 3: I don't know what it is.
HOUSE: You're all idiots.
TEAM MEMBER 1: Do you know what it is?
HOUSE: No, but I know all your ideas are stupid. Let's run a series of tests and give them medications to treat every possible condition they might have until the patient gets better.

HOUSE TAKES DRUGS AND DOES CRAZY THINGS.

PATIENT GOES INTO SEIZURES.

HOUSE: Well, that didn't work. Whose stupid idea was that, anyway?
TEAM MEMBERS: Yours.
HOUSE: In that case, it was a brilliant idea.
HOUSE'S BOSS: Your actions risked the life of your patient. You've violated every rule and law of the medical profession. By any measure, you should have been barred from practicing medicine years ago. But I'm not going to fire you.
HOUSE: Why not?
HOUSE'S BOSS: Good question.
HOUSE: Wait a minute. My keen and analytical mind has noticed some small fact that escaped everyone else's notice. It turns out the patient has an entirely different disease the viewer's never heard of. Give them this.
PATIENT: I'm cured. Thank you, Doctor.
HOUSE: I hate you.

FADE OUT

5 comments:

Mauricem said...

LOL. As much as I love House, I have to admit you've captured it in a nutshell. I do have to point out though that many times its a really simple disease that has been hiding its symptoms because of some external factor. Like the hateful punk rocker that secretly spent time with children and had measles. Or the guy with a malformed head that hid the scars of Lyme disease.
Funny stuff though. I especially like the scornful House-speak.

Monkey Migraine said...

Thanks, it all kinda hit me in a flash

adele said...

House M.D. is an fantabulous show!!Entertaining and poignant, House is definitely a show worth watching.Besides the deep and emotional side of the story, my other favorite reason for watching this show - Hugh Laurie (Dr. House). A great actor, and possibly the only one who could pull off a character such as House.

Vincent pro said...
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vern said...

i agreed with adele Hugh Laurie is the only actor who could play house with such conviction and thanks for the link