Monday, April 12, 2010

Uncrustables: The Longest Distance Between You and PB&J

I thought the idea behind it is that some people (kids, mostly) don't like crusts on their PB&J sandwiches. They hate it so much that they can't even stand the thought of crust ever existing on their sandwich. For them, they created Uncrustables, which have no crust whatsoever. In fact, they don't really have edges. They're sort of pouches made from white bread with peanut butter and jelly sealed inside. The bread is sealed on the edges like apple pie. And what do you do when you want one? Well, you have to keep them in the freezer until you want one. Then you take it out and leave it on the table for thirty minutes to an hour to defrost. Then you can eat the tiny little pouch.

Right. Or you can just use regular bread, spread peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other, then cut off the crusts. Just saying.

Apparently, these things are hugely popular, mainly because mothers can just toss one or two into their kids' lunchboxes and they'll be defrosted by lunchtime. So apparently, Uncrustables are really for mothers who are too lazy...uh, I mean busy to spend five minutes making sandwiches themselves. The next logical step is Unpackables, sandwiches that can crawl out of the refrigerator in the morning and climb into the lunchboxes on their own, for mothers too lazy...uh, I mean busy to take them out of the freezer and pack their kids' lunches themselves.


Maurice Mitchell said...

I read once that restaurants have been trying to figure out how to sell PBJ sandwiches for years, but got stuck on the perceived value issue. PBJ are so easy to make it seems like a waste of money. Looks like these guys have figured out the secret: sell a sandwich to the lazy.

Emily Likes to Make Stuff said...

Personally, I love these things--they are great for conventions. They are sealed up and non-messy. I can go hide in a corner and not pay through the nose for something that resembles a sandwich or nachos or other badfood. The flavor and texture are always consistently perfect and as far as a comfort food goes, this hits the spot. Others always express jealousy when they see me enjoying mine, especially when facing their own overpriced badfood.

I have never been able to pack a homemade sandwich as perfectly as these. They are designed to be abused in your backpack.

This is one of the few convenience foods that I actually like to keep stocked. Why would you eat ANY frozen item like this at home? Are you seriously griping about having to wait on it to thaw? It thaws just fine in the hours between leaving the house and lunch time.