If Law Enforcement Treated Car Theft Like Identity Theft

Recently, we became aware of the frustrating response law enforcement gives to identity theft. It made me wonder what would happen if the police treated other crimes the way they treated identity theft. I think it would go something...like this.

POLICE: 911, what is your emergency?
VICTIM: My car! Someone just stole my car! I had my wife and kids in the car, and some guy just ran up with a gun and forced us all out and stole my car!
POLICE: All right, calm down.
VICTIM: But he's got my car! I can see him driving away!
POLICE: It's okay. We see this a lot these days. Frankly, you shouldn't have been driving around in public with your car. That's just asking for somebody to steal it. What you should do is keep your car in your garage so no one takes it.
VICTIM: But-but I need to drive my car around! That's why I have a car! Anyway, forget how it happened! The guy's turning the corner! I need someone out here! He's driving west on Elm Street--
POLICE: Okay, sir, please calm down. Here's what you need to do. I'm going to give you a website. It has a live feed of street cameras. What you need to do is watch those feeds until you spot your car. Then you can find out where the car thief is going, and tell whoever is at that location when he gets there not to let him park his car there. Then when he goes somewhere else, do the same thing--
VICTIM: What? Wait a minute, you mean I have to find this guy? Why can't you do it? You're the police.
POLICE: Securing your car is your responsibility, sir, not mine. We don't have the manpower to track down every stolen car.
VICTIM: But I can't spend the rest of my life watching a computer for my car!
POLICE: Well, there are many companies that will monitor the streets and notify you when they spot your car. The point is, you'll need to find wherever the thief tries to park your car and get the parking lot to deny him access. That way, you won't get any tickets or parking fees that he might get you charged with.
VICTIM: But he'll still have my car!
POLICE: Well, I mean, the reality is that he has your car. There's not much we can do about that. You just need to minimize the damage. If you want your car back, here's what you need to do. Go find a flashlight and start going around, inspecting every car. When you find your car, let us know, and we'll arrest the driver. If we can get there in time. Good luck!

The Poster Child For Interracial Marriage: Seal and Heidi Klum

I think, if there was a foundation for interracial marriages between African-Americans and Caucasians, Seal and Heidi Klum would be the spokescouple. Because I can’t think of a blacker man than Seal or a whiter woman than Heidi Klum. Unless you paired up Desmond Tutu and Paris Hilton. Okay, I can come up with a more mismatched couple, but really they’re unlikely to happen. Whenever I see a photo of Seal and Heidi Klum together, it’s like a Photoshopped picture for Mad Magazine or something. And it's awesome. I hesitate to call any celebrity marriage a good one, since we never know what goes on behind closed doors, but it's hard for me to read this article about them from the Daily Mail without thinking "Awww." I mean, Seal claims he became more in love with Heidi after he found out she was pregnant with another man's baby. And Heidi calls Seal "Schatzi," a German word similar to "sweetie." And Heidi openly admits she was first attracted to him because she saw him in tight shorts.

News Nuggets

NATIONAL

The transition from analog to digital television was achieved successfully. However, more than two million households in the United States were unready for the transition to digital television. In other news, more than two million households in the United States are full of idiots.

INTERNATIONAL

An Air France jet crashed into the Atlantic. Experts believe the airplane crashed when it surrendered to the weather conditions.

In Pakistan, public opinion is starting to turn against the Taliban. For some reason, the stonings, car bombings, and burqas have been somewhat of a turn-off.

Venezuela banned Coke Zero, called it a "danger to health." Apparently, it's considered dangerous in Venezuela to sell a drink that has zero cocaine in it.

ENTERTAINMENT

Chastity Bono announced that she plans to get a sex change operation. One benefit? After the operation, she'll be able to sing a duet of "I've Got You, Babe" with herself.

The Anne Frank museum announced plans to display her actual diaries. The biggest surprise to visitors? They were written on pink notepaper with glitter ink.

SCIENCE

The next Space Shuttle crew is ready for launch, and includes a singer. The crew will be filming the first episode of "Intergalactic Idol." The crew's next order of business will be to find evidence of life in Paula Abdul's music career.

The World Health Organization officially upgraded Swine flu to a pandemic, the first in 41 years. In response, Congress tried to pass a law that would help prepare the country for a swine flu epidemic. However, some members of Congress blocked the bill, because it was full of pork.

Japan's first lunar probe has ended its mission. The mission is considered a success, despite the fact that they couldn't find any big-eyed, big-headed women with purple hair and cat ears. The lunar probe transformed into a giant robot and flew home.

See you next Tuesday.

If the USS Enterprise Had Realistic Voice Recognition

PICARD: Computer.
COMPUTER: [chirp] Welcome to the USS Enterprise Voice Recognition System. If you know the extension of the person you'd like to call, please say it now. For environmental changes, please say "environment." For access to records and documents, please say "records." For entertainment options, please say "entertainment." For information on ship systems and diagnostics, please say, diagnostics." For the replicator, please say "replicator." For--
PICARD: Replicator.
COMPUTER: You said "diagnostics." Is that correct?
PICARD: No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again. For environmental changes, please say "environment." For--
PICARD: Replicator.
COMPUTER: You said "replicator." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: Thank you. Please state what you would like to replicate.
PICARD: Tea. Earl Grey, hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Be whirled whey in a pot." Is that correct?
PICARD: What? No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Tea. Earl Grey, hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Be pearl day, shot." Is that correct?
PICARD: No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Tea...Earl...Grey...hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Need girl gay, hot." I'm sorry, but we cannot replicate human beings. If you wish female companionship, please visit our lounge, Ten-Forward.
PICARD: I didn't say "girl gay," blast you.

COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Oh, for heaven's sakes. Look, I want a cup of Earl Grey tea. And make it hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Zero-four Blevin's rakes hook a font couple Curly May pee and naked hot." Is that correct?
PICARD: Oh, forget it. I'll just use a teapot.

Every episode of "House, MD" in a Nutshell

Why sit through endless episodes of House, MD when you can enjoy the entire series all at once? Here's every episode of House, MD in a nutshell.

FADE IN

PERSON DOES SOMETHING WEIRD, THEN COLLAPSES.

CUT TO:
HOUSE AND TEAM DISCUSSING CASE

HOUSE: I'm a genius and everyone else is an idiot. Including the patient. I hate you all.

TEAM MEMBER 1: I think it's a very simple and common disease the viewer's never heard of.
TEAM MEMBER 2: I think it's a complex and rare disease the viewer's never heard of.
TEAM MEMBER 3: I don't know what it is.
HOUSE: You're all idiots.
TEAM MEMBER 1: Do you know what it is?
HOUSE: No, but I know all your ideas are stupid. Let's run a series of tests and give them medications to treat every possible condition they might have until the patient gets better.

HOUSE TAKES DRUGS AND DOES CRAZY THINGS.

PATIENT GOES INTO SEIZURES.

HOUSE: Well, that didn't work. Whose stupid idea was that, anyway?
TEAM MEMBERS: Yours.
HOUSE: In that case, it was a brilliant idea.
HOUSE'S BOSS: Your actions risked the life of your patient. You've violated every rule and law of the medical profession. By any measure, you should have been barred from practicing medicine years ago. But I'm not going to fire you.
HOUSE: Why not?
HOUSE'S BOSS: Good question.
HOUSE: Wait a minute. My keen and analytical mind has noticed some small fact that escaped everyone else's notice. It turns out the patient has an entirely different disease the viewer's never heard of. Give them this.
PATIENT: I'm cured. Thank you, Doctor.
HOUSE: I hate you.

FADE OUT

A Beautiful Lie: The Truth Behind "A Beautiful Mind"

I decided to use the format of Reel Faces to answer some questions for my most damning example of Hollywood tinkering with history, A Beautiful Mind. I offered this to Kevin Lang, the author of "Reel Faces" and he said he would "try to remember" to give me credit when it's done. Which doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. So here it is.

Q: Was John Nash as cocky and arrogant as he was in the movie?
A: Yes. In fact, many people who worked with Nash disliked him, even before his mental breakdown. They found him arrogant, egotistical, and insensitive, but tolerated him because of his mathematical genius.

Q: Was the portrayal of Nash's delusions in the movie accurate?
A: No. The storyline of a Communist conspiracy to smuggle a nuclear bomb into the U.S. was made up for the movie in order to capture the spirit of his delusions. In real-life, Nash's delusions were even less logical and more chaotic than the movie version.Nash's mental breakdown through schizophrenia didn't truly develop until the 1960s, after he had graduated from Princeton (no phantom roommate) and married Alicia Nash. At the height of his madness, Nash believed that aliens were sending him encrypted messages through the New York Times, and that any man wearing a red necktie was a member of a secret international communist organization. He claimed to colleagues that he was the Pope and the emperor of Antarctica, and feared the government was working with extraterrestrials to destroy his reputation. At some point, he developed a messianic complex and thought he was a messenger from God. Nash eventually came to believe he was on a holy mission to come up with a mystical number that would prove the existence of God.

Nash says he does not recall seeing any visual hallucinations, but heard voices that mocked and argued with him constantly. At times, Nash thought the voices were coming from aliens or angels. Nash would make phone calls to family and colleagues using false names and have rambling conversations about numerology and conspiracies that they would endure until he hung up.

Q: Did Nash stay at home after his first stay in the mental institution, trying to compose new formulas?
A: No. Nash actually left the country after his first release from the mental hospital and wandered Europe for months, declaring himself a refugee and trying to renounce his U.S. citizenship. While there, he mailed postcards containing nonsensical stories and numerical formulas to his old workmates. His wife eventually worked with the State Department to have Nash deported back to the United States.

Q: Was John Nash allowed to return to Princeton, despite his mental illness?
A: Yes. But unlike in the movie, Nash was a more mysterious and disturbing figure on campus. Nash became an almost mythical figure to the students, who called him "the Phantom." He would leave secret codes and mathematical formulas on blackboards and on papers shoved under the doors of teachers, and wander the campus in red sneakers, murmuring to himself.

Q: Was his wife's love and Nash's logic the key to his recovery?
A: No. The reasons for Nash's recovery are a matter of debate. Nash did indeed stop taking his anti-psychotic medication, and never did take any medication again. Nash claims that it was his logical mind that allowed his recovery. The truth is that many people age out of schizophrenia on their own over time.

Q: Was the love story between John Nash and his wife Alicia truly as beautiful as in the movie?
A: No. In reality, Nash was already involved with another woman and had fathered a son out of wedlock with her when he met his current wife, Alicia. She was a student in his class, and they did marry and have a son together, but his illness drove them apart. Unlike in the movie, Nash deeply resented Alicia for having him involuntarily committed. Upon his release, Nash withdrew from her emotionally and sexually. After three years of enduring his mania, Alicia divorced Nash in 1962 and began a new relationship with another man. She continued to help and support Nash as a friend rather than a husband. She even let him stay in her home to keep Nash from becoming homeless, but thought of him as a boarder; they lived separate lives under the same roof. Their romantic relationship was only restarted after Nash won the Nobel Prize. She remarried him in 2001, well after his mental illness had already subsided.

Q: Was a man sent by the Nobel Prize committee to check whether Nash was stable enough to award the prize?
A: Yes. Jörgen Weibull was an economics professor sent by the committee to meet with Nash. He did interview Nash and the moment when Nash initially resisted going into the Princeton faculty lounge did happen. In fact, Weibull cited Nash's hesitation as the reason he recommended Nash be given the prize; it showed an obscurity and insecurity on Nash's part that Weibull felt demanded to be corrected.

Q: Was there a moment where Nash was honored by Princeton faculty by their lying their pens in front of him at his table?
A: No. No such ceremony has ever existed at Princeton.

Q: Was John Nash's acceptance speech for his Nobel Prize the same as in the movie?
A: No. In fact, Nash was not allowed to give an acceptance speech at the Nobel award ceremony because they were afraid he was too unstable. He did give a speech afterwards at a party at Princeton, but it was not the one given in the movie. According to his biographer, Nash mainly made jokes about how he hoped the award would improve his credit rating.

SOURCES
* Lycos: John Nash
* Free Info Society: John Nash
* http://www.slate.com/id/2060110/
* John Nash's Autobiography for the Nobel Prize
* PBS: A Brilliant Madness
* CBS: Beautiful Mind No White Wash

I'm in Your Base: 2007 Year In Review

I recently discovered the delightful meme, "I'm in ur base, killin ur doodz."

And so we proudly present some of the highlights of 2007..."in ur base"-style.

Jokebook: Designated Driver

This cop is waiting outside a bar and sees this guy come stumbling out. The guy is staggering all over the sidewalk from the bar all the way to a car parked out front. The guy pulls out his keys, drops them, picks them up again, fumbles around trying to put the keys into the lock, finally unlocks the door, falls inside, starts the car, and drives away, weaving all over the road.

The cop turns on his lights and pulls the car over. The guy gets out and the cop gives him a breathalyser test.

The guy blows a zero-point-zero.

The cop looks at the results, then looks at the guy and asks, "What is this?

The guy straightens, looks the cop square in the eye, and says in a clear voice, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

Related Posts:
* Jokebook: Homeward Bound
* Jokebook: Police Phobia

Bizarro Mickey Mouse: Part Two

Last week, we covered the bizarre evil clone of Mickey Mouse promoting Palestinian bombing. On the other lighter end of the spectrum, we have the recently-discovered Shijingshan Amusement Park in China. The amazing thing about the park is that it's basically a small-scale replica of Disneyland. Somehow, the Chinese managed to keep it a secret until May 2007. Not allowing people to come in or out of the country probably helped. The funniest part about this story to me is how the Chinese tried to say that it wasn't a copy of Disneyland. Take a look at some of the costumed characters. There's Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, even Shrek! Yeah, that's a coincidence.

The interesting thing is that, even though the Chinese quickly took these characters off the park when news broke on it, the Chinese themselves have a very casual attitude towards copyrights. My favorite quote by a Chinese housewife: "I don’t understand why that is such a big problem. Shouldn’t others be able to use those characters besides [Disney]?" Uh, no. That's what copyright means.

Best link on this debacle is at Japan Probe.

The Dance Re-Mix: How To Ruin A Good Song

1. Find a pleasant, mellow, soothing song with a gentle voice and a tender theme.
2. Speed the song up twice as fast.
3. Add a loud, thumping, and annoying backbeat
4. Find the hip-hop singer whose song is popular that week.
5. Add him yellng "Re-Miiiiixxx" for ten seconds at the beginning like a Mexican soccer announcer calling a goal.
6. Have him record a fifteen-second monologue that has nothing to do with the original theme of the song. Make sure he includes the word "booty."
7. Record him saying "yeah" and "uh-huh," and sprinkle at random throughout the song.
8. Distribute the re-mix to radio stations and dance clubs.
9. Make sure that radio stations never play the original song again.

Bizarro Mickey Mouse: Part One

Two stories that broke recently seemed to connect in my mind, so I'll discuss them both. It seems that in two other countries, it's been revealed that people are using unauthorized copies of Mickey Mouse, and doing so in nefarious ways.

On the one hand, we have Tomorrow's Pioneers, a Palestinian children's show hosted by Farfour, a Mickey Mouse look-a-like who preaches the destruction of Israel to little children. You can actually watch a clip on YouTube and it's pretty shocking. The show includes children reading poems with lines like "It is the time of death, we will fight a war." Farfur also criticizes President Bush. Just what we all want in a children's show - political rhetoric. Not surprisingly, Disney isn't too happy about it. There's a great quote from Walt Disney's own daughter calling the character "pure evil." Can't argue too much about that.

After international outcry, the character of Farfour was taken off the show, but amazingly, they actually killed him! In this clip, we see Farfour being given the land of Palestine by his grandfather, and then the Jewish conspiracy (for some reason, in the form of a P. Diddy-like black man) tries to bribe and then stabs Farfour to death to get the land. They actually martyred a cartoon character in front of its underage audience. No matter how you feel about the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians, I hope we can all agree that's not something children need to be exposed to. Although I personally wouldn't mind seeing Barney getting stabbed to death...

Part two coming up.

Movie Rules: Knock-Out

Movie rule #4,627: Even the slightest head impact will knock someone unconscious.

Most common in: Action Movies

The typical scenario: The hero whacks somebody on the back of the head with his fist or a gun and the enemy crumples instantly like a sack of potatoes. And once knocked unconscious, they will stay unconscious for as long as they are required to be. Of course, in real-life, hitting someone on the head will usually just make them mad. People do get knocked unconscious, but that's somewhat rare and usually only last for a few minutes. And a head impact that knocks someone unconscious is just as likely to kill them. Imagine a movie where James Bond sneaks up to a guard, thumps him on the head, and the guard turns around and shoots him. I'd like to see that.

Call Centered: Spelling "B"

The following is from an actual conversation between me (a call center representative) and a very elderly and grumpy caller. All names have been changed to protect the irritating:

ME: Yes, sir, the copay on that medication is more expensive. There's another medication called Birolax...
GRUMPY: I can't understand you. You don't speak English.
ME: [pause] Sir, I'm 34 years old, I've been speaking English all my life.
GRUMPY: Well, I can't understand you. What's the name of that medication?
ME: It's "B" like Bravo, "I" like India, "R" like Romeo...
GRUMPY: No, don't spell it out. Just say the letters.
ME: Okay. B-I-R...
GRUMPY: What?
ME: B...I...R...
GRUMPY: I can't understand you.
ME: "B."
GRUMPY: What?
ME: "B" like Bravo.
GRUMPY: Don't spell it out, just say it.
ME: Okay. "B."
GRUMPY: What?
ME: "B!"
GRUMPY: [pause] What?
ME: [screaming] "B!!!!"
GRUMPY: What?
ME: [pause] Sir, I don't know how I can say the letter "B" any clearer. It's "B" like Brave or Boy.
GRUMPY: Oh, "B." Okay.
ME: [continues to spell out the medication with no problem and ends call]
CUBICLE NEIGHBOR WHO OVERHEARD THE CALL: You should have said "B" like "Butt-head."

Celery and Panties: The Artwork of Art Frahm

What do celery and ladies' underwear have in common? No, it's not a joke, at least not technically. It seems that back in the 50's, there was an artist named Art Frahm who painted cheesecake photos of women who had their panties suddenly falling down their legs in public. And all the paintings featured women carrying groceries with celery sticking out of it. Truly a bizarre fetish, one that is completely unrealistic. There's a website called the Institute of Official Cheer that analyzes his work and how bad it really was, very funny stuff. Makes you wonder how much of this stuff would hold up to that kind of scrutiny.

Ancient Chinese Secret: China vs Rainclouds

The Chinese aren't content with suppression of freedom of speech and democracy. They even want to suppress the weather. It was recently revealed that they have a plan to try to change the weather for the 2008 Olympics. If it looks like rain, the Chinese are testing equipment to disperse the rainclouds. To me, it seems somewhat sinister that they are so dedicated to the Olympics going perfectly that they even want to alter the weather. I don't know. Maybe it will work, but there's something strange about going to all that trouble over clouds. Wouldn't it be cheaper and easier to just use a tent and issue umbrellas?

Flashback Friday: The Black Hole

The Black Hole was a movie back in the late 70's about an evil scientist with a plot to send himself and his crew into a black hole. I only remember a few things about the movie - like the theme song, which was awesome. Another is the evil robot Maximilian. He rocked. I remember my horror at seeing the robot advance on a man with spinning propellers for hands and the man's body jerking as Maximilian chopped him up. Fortunately, they didn't show it. But how cool would that be to have a robot that would hack people up at your command? I even named one of my cats after him.

The ending of this movie is what I remember most and baffled me. After the ship enters the black hole, I vividly remember the villain floating up to the body of his robot Maximilian and the camera zooming out as he is somehow inside the robot as it stands on a rock ledge in a flaming pit. I remembered thinking, even as a child, where all those flames came from. Later, when I learned about oxygen, I wondered how there could be fire in outer space.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that that ending was supposed to imply that the spaceship had passed into the spirit realm and the heroes had gone into Heaven while the villain ended up in Hell. Hardly a fitting ending for a science-fiction movie.

Trivia

* The Black Hole is considered a colossal failure, both critically and commercially.
* It was Disney's first attempt to create a PG movie production.

* The movie was supposed to be an adaptation of Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. I don't know how they got this story out of it.
* The robot name "V.I.N.CENT" is supposed to be an acronym of "Vital Information Necessary CENTralized". B.O.B.'s name stands for "BiO-sanitation Battalion," while S.T.A.R.'s is an acronym for "Special Troops/Arms Regiment."
* V.I.N.CENT and Old B.O.B. were lame attempts at R2D2 clones.
* Neither the novelization or the comic adaptation used the Heaven/Hell ending.

Links
Disney's Unofficial The Black Hole page
Wikipedia: The Black Hole
Ultimate Disney: The Black Hole
Space.com review: Does 'The Black Hole' Still Suck?
Toy Archive.com: Blackhole

The Emperor's New Groove 34: The Death of Disney Sequels

There's been a big shake-up at Disney, all for the better in my opinion. One of the new mandates has been to cancel all direct-to-video sequels of Disney's popular movies. Says one of the new bigwigs at Disney, they "generally dislike direct-to-video sequels because the quality of the stories and production usually pales in comparison with the originals." Amen to that. I mean, does anyone really want five hundred sequels to The Emperor's New Groove with the level of animation found on Saturday morning TV? Here's a list of planned Disney sequels that were thankfully cancelled:

The Little Mermaid 5: Ariel On Ice - The Little Mermaid's ship ends up going off-course in a storm and ends up in Antarctica. Now she can't swim in the water or walk on land; she has to ice-skate everywhere. This was an attempt to create a movie that leads directly into a Disney On Ice production.

Toy Story 4: Product Placement - An interactive DVD that features a parade of the latest and greatest toys. If the viewer wants one of the toys, they can just hit the "enter" button and purchase it automatically from Amazon.com. There was a minimal plot planned where Buzz and Woody end up locked in a toy store overnight, but the real purpose was to create a new engine to drive toy sales.

Cinderella 4: Regime Change - Due to protests from his people and human-rights groups, Prince Charming declares his kingdom a democracy and calls for open elections. Things get worse when Cinderella's evil stepmother is elected President and Cinderella is stripped of her royalty, forced to become her stepmother's servant once again. Though devastated at first, Cinderella learns from her friendly animals and her fairy godmother that true happiness comes not from beautiful dresses, pretty shoes, material wealth, or fame, but from within. This was intended to end the so-called Disney Princesses' licensing campaign, which research showed was making little girls materialistic and egotistical. That one might not have been so bad.

Lost Week: Michelle Rodriguez Outed?

Thus begins Lost Week, an entire week dedicated to one of my favorite shows, Lost, leading up to the season finale. I had a lot of plans on what this week's posts would be, but this one dropped right into my lap this morning. It's not strictly about Lost, but it does involve one of the former major characters, Michelle Rodriguez. It seems that Curve magazine, a popular gay magazine, put Michelle Rodriguez on their cover, infuriating her because she feels she's been outed. She posted a long and somewhat rambling post on her website's forums that does the "I don't feel I need to define my sexuality" bit. On Curve's part, they point out that they didn't actually call her gay in the magazine, so it seems her response is a bit premature.

Now regular readers of my blog know I already addressed this last year. People who don't want to be called gay shouldn't let photos of themselves flirting with women get around. Frankly, I'm surprised she thought this was still a secret. Her current girlfriend Kristanna Loken already blew the lid off this last year. I hate when celebrities treat the public like they're idiots. Whatever.

Related:
Resident Lesbo: Michelle Rodriguez

Flashback Friday: Platypus Man

In tribute to the late Richard Jeni, beloved comedian who unfortunately never made it as big as he should have and commited suicide, we shall honor one of his greatest failures, his short-lived TV series Platypus Man. I don't remember a single thing about this show, other than the fact that it wasn't that funny and the sight of Richard Jeni in an apron cooking just didn't fit.

Trivia
* The opening explained that a platypus is a mammal that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone, and a platypus man is a mammal that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone.
* His TV show on the series was called Cooking with the Platypus Man.
* The series aired in 1995, the early days of UPN, which sucked.
* The problem of cooking and his character's problems with relationships were supposed to parallel. They didn't.
* Ron Orbach played Richard's executive producer and longtime friend. He's the cousin of actor Jerry Orbach of Law and Order fame.

Links:
* Unofficial UPN homepage's profile of Platypus Man
* TV.com's profile of Platypus Man
* Wikipedia's entry on Platypus Man

Related:
Flashback Friday: Out of This World
Flashback Friday: Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Flashback Friday: Herb

Yellow Fever: Guys Who Like Asian Women

A while back, I read a Maxim interview with Lucy Liu where she trashed guys who are into Asian women, calling the phenomenon "yellow fever." I couldn't understand why she would be so hostile towards the Asian fixation until I did some research online. One, a memoir of what it's like to be an Asian woman and have guys treating her like a stereotype is sad. There's also a website that profiles the "asianophile," which makes some good points, although I think comparing them to pedophiles is a bit harsh. Maybe some guys like Asian women because they're so cute?