How Many Five Years Could You Take In a Fight

It's the age-old question that has perplexed Mankind for centuries, challenged the greatest minds of our age, and set the standards for bravery and physical endurance for our time: if you were attacked by a bunch of five-year olds in an enclosed basketball court with no weapons, how many could you take down? Well, now, thanks to the Internet, we have a simple, effective, and mathematically sound way of finding out without all the tedious rounding up five-year olds and beating them up. It's howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com.

And in case you're wondering, here's my score. Beat that. Oh, yeah, I'm bad-axe.

12

BONUS: Check out the forum post that inspired the widget. It's hysterical.

eGad!: Brains for Zombies

Haven't done a random link in a long time...and I guess it's overdue. A while back I saw a fake website that claimed to be a shopping mall for evil geniuses taking over the world. You could "shop" for nuclear missiles, uniforms, henchmen, the works. Hysterical...but I can't find it. So I found Brains for Zombies instead. It's kinda funny. But eGad, a parody of eBay, is funnier.

Han Solo: Frozen in Lego Bricks

And now for something completely different...a man with a sculpture of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

The McDonald's Employee Simulator

We all know that working at McDonald's is a glamorous job, but few people get to experience it in life. Until now. Artist Garnet Hertz has created the McDonald's Employee Simulator, a shockingly intricate and engaging website that accurately simulates what it's like to work at the Big Mac counter in a real McDonald's restaurant. If you can't work at McDonald's in real-life, this is the next best thing.
Categories: random-lynx

You're the Man Now, Dog!

I never was interested in seeing Finding Forrester, but I would have gone to see it just for the moment in the commercial where Sean Connery yells "You're the man now, dog!" Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who found that moment beyond hilarious. It has been memorialized in a website devoted entirely to a picture of Sean Connery and a sound clip playing "You're the man now, dog!" The website has become so popular that it spawned a whole host of websites dedicated to images and short audio clips at YTMND.com. Join the craze, read the Wikipedia entry on it or read the interview of the YTMND creator at the Wall Street Journal. When you get bored of YTMND, try the second most popular variation, the Captain Picard YTMND.

P.S. I know this is old news to the webheads, but I just heard of it. I'm catching up...gradually.

The Last Page of the Internet

Ever feel like the Internet is an endless void of information, education, and time-wasting? Well, fear not. There is, in fact, an end. Click here to go to the Last Page of the Internet.

P.S. I know this is an old joke to webheads. Heck, do a search on Google and there's tons of the things. But I just found it. So sue me. I'll catch up eventually.

Sweet Revenge

How to legally get revenge on people who send you postal junkmail by mailing a box of junk using their envelope, and they have to pay it. This made me laugh out loud. I seriously believe if enough people did this, it would end junkmail. Or they'd stop including postage-paid envelopes. Whichever comes first.

Randomlynx

Let's have some fun.

What's up with celebrities and Kabbalah? Here's the answer.

You've heard of Friendster? How about Nemester, the network that brings together all your enemies. It's a parody, but it's a good one. The same guy also made a website to save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

Ever wonder about the guys who dub Asian animated TV shows like Pokemon? Check out the other side of the industry at Animation World Magazine.

Japan is so far ahead of every other country in technology, it's scary. The farthest we've got at robot servants is the Roomba, a vacuum cleaner. In Japan, they've got humanoid robot receptionists. Beat that!

Most people aren't aware that the original Dracula novel was written in the form of journal entries. Somebody said to themselves, "hey, sort of like a blog." So they've created Dracula Blogged, which posts parts of the novel as blog entries on the same day they appeared in the novel. If you just can't wait, you can also read the original Dracula. Cool idea.

Randomlynx: I Work With Fools

That pretty much says it all doesn't it? I Work With Fools.com is a website where you can submit your nightmare stories about your co-workers. Some of them are kind of petty, but others are funny.

Phone Scams

I personally hate phone pranks on the radio. They're usually mean-spirited or gross or funny only to the person doing them, the victim's response is rarely funny in itself. But I like the phone scams they do on 104.7, because they let the victim know it was a scam in the end, and they usually aren't mean-spirited or hurt the victim.

Fortunately for those who can't listen to them at 7 o'clock in the morning, a bunch of them are online at Kid and Ruben's website. My current favorite is one where they pretend to be holding a guy's wallet hostage. The altered voice was a nice touch.
Categories: random-lynx

Bud Light Presents...

For years, Bud Light has been running a series of commercials saluting the unsung heroes and anti-heroes of American males. At first, it was called "Real American Heroes," but they changed it to "Real Men of Genius" after 9/11. I prefer "Heroes..." I mean it's a joke, people. Anyway, I found a website that has collection of mp3s of them. Act fast, Budweiser's been shutting other sites down for some reason. Among my favorites is still "Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer."

Randomlynx: Virtual Deathtrap

The first military submarine to sink a ship in wartime was the CSS Hunley. Created in the American Civil War, I think the Hunley is the essence of steampunk, only in real-life. The darn thing killed two of its crews, including it's inventor, so it's no surprise it didn't trigger a wave of popularity for submarines. Surprisingly, I found a very cool online virtual simulation of the CSS Hunley at the Sun-Sentinel. The feeling it creates in running it really does capture how terrifying and awkward it must have been inside the original Hunley.

Two Dollars a Gallon

Since everyone is predicting that gas prices are going to go up again, this is a good time to introduce Gas Buddy, a website where people submit gas stations with the cheapest prices. The local branch for Phoenix is Phoenixgasprices.com. It's pretty good. Last time, I discovered the third lowest gas price five minutes from my apartment.

Randomlynx: Free Kungfu

Earthlink's newsletter is surprisingly good. They included a link to this website with a Flash Kungfu fighting game. Looks like it's made by a guy who just wanted to put himself and his friends into an online Street Fighter II.

Randomlynx: Mr T vs. Everything

Once upon a time, someone said "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if we made a cartoon out of photographs from the A-Team called Mr. T vs..." Years later, the torch has been carried until we have Mr. T versus Everything, a collection of over 300 Mr. T comics. Why Mr. T? Probably because he's the quintessential bad-A. You could imagine him taking on everything from O.J. Simpson to the Paperclip from Office, and people have. Plus, his dialogue is so unique that it's funny to read by itself. This is a great collection, but with a lot of dead links. I guess the only thing that can stop Mr. T is the cost of web hosting.

There's even a site that tells how to make your own Mr. T comic. The only question is...what hasn't he already taken on?

Randomlynx: The Critic Makes Waves

Found this pretty cool archive of Wav files featuring the Critic's greatest parodies. I'd forgotten some of them, like "Planet of the Dogs" and Iraq's "Brown Acres."

Randomlynx: Virtual Trading Cards

Check out these fan-made virtual trading cards for Battlestar Galactica and Justice League, etc. Wish I could make some virtual Sliders cards. I may do that.

Randomlynx: Fake Ads

Some funny fake ad banners by Valley of the Geeks. My favorite is the one for X-10.

Games of Peace: Orisinal

Speaking of unconventional games, check out Orisinal, a collection of Shockwave games that are truly calming and beautiful. Bubble Bees is one I tried which manages to be challenging without being frustrating.
Categories: random-lynx

Make your Own MST3K: Prelinger Archives

Earthlink sent me this link in their latest newsletter, and it is truly worthwhile. It's the Prelinger Archives, an archive of early commercials and educational films from the 50's et al. Yes, you too can own "Duck and Cover" and "Boys Beware." Hours of fun for the broadband-inclined. The possibilities are endless. I think I'll try to make a MST3K-style soundtrack to one of them.
Categories: random-lynx