Monday, April 12, 2010

Uncrustables: The Longest Distance Between You and PB&J

I thought the idea behind it is that some people (kids, mostly) don't like crusts on their PB&J sandwiches. They hate it so much that they can't even stand the thought of crust ever existing on their sandwich. For them, they created Uncrustables, which have no crust whatsoever. In fact, they don't really have edges. They're sort of pouches made from white bread with peanut butter and jelly sealed inside. The bread is sealed on the edges like apple pie. And what do you do when you want one? Well, you have to keep them in the freezer until you want one. Then you take it out and leave it on the table for thirty minutes to an hour to defrost. Then you can eat the tiny little pouch.

Right. Or you can just use regular bread, spread peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other, then cut off the crusts. Just saying.

Apparently, these things are hugely popular, mainly because mothers can just toss one or two into their kids' lunchboxes and they'll be defrosted by lunchtime. So apparently, Uncrustables are really for mothers who are too lazy...uh, I mean busy to spend five minutes making sandwiches themselves. The next logical step is Unpackables, sandwiches that can crawl out of the refrigerator in the morning and climb into the lunchboxes on their own, for mothers too lazy...uh, I mean busy to take them out of the freezer and pack their kids' lunches themselves.